I'm driving slow on Sunday morning, and I never want to leave.

Sundays are often a day of rest.  People call it the Sabbath, and by people, I mean my dad. There are several songs about relaxing on Sundays…and even a song about using the day to clip coupons.  It is a great day.

I should probably be embarrassed to say that about 80% of Sundays I am a little hungover.  That statistic is based on the fact that I have been slightly hungover three of the past four Sundays, and I will likely be hungover again this week.  4/5 = 80%.  I am good at math.  NBD.  

Now, anyone who knows me when I am hungover knows that I usually wake up early, hungry and craving lettuce.  After eating, I will go back to bed where I will sleep until at least noon.  Take it or leave it, that’s Carrie Keller at her finest.  This Sunday was no different.  But I guess first I should fill you in on my Saturday that preceded it.

Humidity is not only a friend to Summer,
but also a friend to Carreen.
Check out those amazing curls!! #jeal

Three weeks ago Summer finally decided to stop by Chicago for a visit, and this week her (yes, Summer is a girl) friend humidity came along for the ride.  So what do Chicagoans do when Summer finally arrives?  We go to the beach.  Now, I know that I have at least three Floridians reading this thinking a beach in Chicago is ludacrous, and you know what I say to that?  I say, “No, Ludacris is a talented rapper from Atlanta…a beach in Chicago is GLORIOUS!”  So Saturday, Chad and I headed to the beach with a half a bag of pretzels and three extra-large, extra-strong, lukewarm vodka and green teas.  Yum!  After catching a nice buzz, and a little snooze, we continued our day by meeting up with Carreen and Ed at BurgerFest.  BurgerFest, while known for their burgers, proved not to disappoint due to the cold 312, and most importantly, a performance by Sister Hazel!  The 90s classic “All For You” and the fact they are from G-Ville make them one of my faves.

After BurgerFest, we went to meet up with Chad’s best friend Chris and his girlfriend Bernadette at Galaway Bay, a bar with free popcorn, old-school Nintendo and $2 PBRs.  Not mad.  I heard stories of Chad’s younger years, got to know them better, and we finally got home and to sleep around 3:30am.

It's hard to say what it is I see in you. Wonder if I'll always be with you.
Words can't say, and I can't do enough to prove that it's all for you.

When I popped up at 7:30am, you can guess that Chad didn’t want to wake up.  So I stayed in bed for a bit too…texting with friends about how much I wanted lettuce.  More specifically, how much I wanted BLTs.  I even made the mistake of Google searching BLTs and you should see the yummy images that came up.  So I rolled out of bed, still rocking a small buzz from the night before, and walked to the grocery to start my Sunday.

As we all know, a BLT should really be called a BBLTM: Bread, Bacon, Lettuce, Tomato, Mayo.  That way, when you go to the grocery store to make a BBLTM, you know EVERY ingredient you need to get.  In my case, I was only after the BBLT, because, for those of us who have not yet met, “I am Carrie and I love mayo.”  Never a shortage of it in my house.

So off to the store I go in search of the missing four ingredients.  Along the way, I picked up some fruit, some olives, and some new salad dressing to make a little side salad with all the lettuce I was planning to buy.  Did I mention how I crave lettuce?  Upon checking out, I reviewed my basket, and seeing all 4 necessary ingredients, I checked out salivating.

I started first by cooking the bacon.  Actually, no, I started first by taking a few delicious pictures, and then proceeded with the bacon.  I figured that the bacon could cook while I cut the veggies, plus, I really thought that smell would wake up Chad without me having to go in and jump on him.  Spoiler alert: It didn’t.  I had to jump on him.

D-Lish. And actually the makings for a BBCTM.

While slicing up the veggies, I noticed that something seemed off.  What is with this lettuce?  I never buy iceberg lettuce, but I have eaten enough to know that it is not usually so rubbery.  And then it dawned on me.  I had bought the ingredients for a BBCTM.  CABBAGE.  It looked just like lettuce!  You can see my confusion…its little things like this that historically have made me uneasy around identical twins.  They look the same on the outside, but really, they are different!  Guess this was God’s way of bracing me for the new little twins about to enter my life – more to come on that in future blogs.

Anyways, I returned to the store, picked up some actual lettuce (you almost got me again, cabbage!) and I have to tell you that my BBLTM and side salad were as amazing as I imagined.  So crispy and salty – I want one right now!  I then turned down for my usual 2 hour post-food nap, and started my day around 12:30pm with some QT at the pool with some faves (thanks, Mike and Jen!).

Man, I love Sundays.   

I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

There are many different faces to the Carrie you all know and (usually) love.

This is Ahoy Carrie. 

There is Comedian Carrie, who laughs at her own jokes before she gets them out (and repeats them louder if no one laughs the first time).

There is Freakishly Positive Carrie, who believes everything happens for a reason and tries to help you see the silver lining in any situation (admittedly, she can be pretty annoying). 

There is Justify Carrie, who thinks you should do things that make you happy and can justify any bad decision from skipping a work out, drinking on a weekday or buying those new jeans you can’t afford (her law of division is genius).

There is Family Carrie, who is best friends with her sisters no matter how mean they are to her (she has a mental block on the years 1993-1997 and a strange hatred for Michael Bolton).

There is Social ADD Carrie, who typically starts a conversation at a party and leaves before the thought is complete to move onto another party-goer (she is clearly an offspring of Bob Keller).

This is Gator Fan Carrie. 

There is OCD Carrie, who only really comes out if something on her shelves is not in perfect order (Carreen somehow stayed friends with her throughout many redecorating disasters).

There is People Pleasing Carrie, who tries to do little things to help her friends and family just to try and make everyone happy (she likes when people are happy – what is wrong with that?).

There is Party-Hosting Carrie, who is really just Social ADD, OCD and People Pleasing Carrie combined (she often gives up and just turns into Drunk Carrie).

There is Drunk Carrie, who loves Chorizo Nachos and Cheetos, takes too many Red Stagg and Rumpy shots, falls asleep at the bar and begs for more meatball subs (her eyes apparently roll from time to time).

There is Hungry Carrie, who quite frankly is just a bitch.

There is Lazy Carrie, who hates washing her hair on Sundays, loves napping, and is really good at ordering in food (see her prior nap post).

Which leads us to I am really good at *fill in the blank* Carrie. This has ranged from kickball, interviewing, funneling beer, doing the Cupid Shuffle, and dating.  If you know her, you know she is actually not good at any of these things (Stay tuned for future posts for proof on some of these claims).  

Who is your favorite "Carrie?" Which ones have I missed? 

Wait...obviously I have missed Narcissistic Carrie, who writes an entire blog about herself and asks people to post. But seriously, please post. 

Jesse Mac poses a good question - "How do you sleep?"

Over the past 28 years, I have been working towards perfecting the art of napping. I practice on Sundays, and most recently during Bears games. The last 2 times the Bears won, I have slept through the game. I am not going to say I am the only one responsible for their wins…certainly Schmelter was in a bathroom somewhere adding luck to the team…but coincidence? Not likely. 

Not that I need the Bears as an excuse to nap – I can get a little shut eye pretty much anywhere and for multiple hours at a time. But when does a nap go from being A Brief Sleep to Damn Girl, Get up?!

Time to phone a friend. If you wished to remain anonymous…whoops.

 “I think that any time one sleeps at all during the day it's a nap. (The exception to this rule is people who work at night.) But I don't think there is a limit of time one sleeps to constitute said sleep as a nap. Fell asleep for 10 seconds at your desk? You just napped, my friend.” 

– Kate Storey, published New York Post author and fellow Crazy Aunt

 “I personally experience two types of naps: 

1) Power Nap - I perfected this in college. After a night of very little sleep, I would take a 15 - 20 minute nap; drink a DDP and be on my way like I had slept all night. This is probably my most regular nap esp post baby. 

2) Drooler - My intentions are normally to just take a power nap, but I end up sleeping for 2-3 hours. Drool is not required, but very likely in my case.” 

– Rachel Hubbard, owner of this amazing bracelet company and one of the coolest moms I know 

“Very easy:

1) Duration: 30 minutes to 2.5 hours.  Anything more is sleeping, anything less is nodding off. 

2) Blanket: Required, unless in a vehicle

3) Pillow: Not necessary

4) Alcohol: No (then it's passing out)

5) Time of day: Before 6:45 AM to 9:30 PM” 

– Mike Gutmacher, Reigning World Champion Napper (and rapper – have you heard this guy??)

 “To me, a nap is anytime you are asleep between the hours of 9 AM and 7 PM, lasting longer than 20 minutes. AKA something I'm never able to do no matter how hard I try! FML! #insomniasucks” 

– Melissa Hoger, Michigan's Favorite Southern Belle

“A nap, to me, is any time you fall to sleep (or intentional go to sleep) outside of the standard night time sleeping hours.  It can be for any amount of time.  Literally 30 seconds of eyes closed sleeping constitutes a nap to me.”

– Jordan Miklos, Facebook's newest face...with an even newer wardrobe I assure

“Well my naps have changed over the years. When I first started law school, a nap generally meant I was hungover, which meant I had a half eaten bacon, egg and cheese biscuit on my night stand and Twlight on repeat in my DVD player. Now my naps generally last approximately 1-2 hours. There is no TV on, I don't wear clothes, and one or two cats is sleeping on my face...I do not nap on my couch. Only yours.” 

– Melissa Cohen, author of Queen of Cohabitation

"A nap is between 10 and 20 minutes.  0 - 10 minutes is resting your eyes.  Over 20 minutes is sleeping." 

– Chad Lovegren, World's Shortest Napper 

I napped on Sunday for only 20 minutes and the Bears lost. Time to get back to my multi-hour nappy roots.