I'm So Much Cooler Online

Hi Friends! I have been a very bad blogger lately, which I am sure has resulted in some serious NotInMod withdrawals. I am sorry, and will contribute to all necessary therapy sessions.  But between Christmas shopping, Strep Throat, celebrating with the fam, a very contagious stomach flu, and a potential end of the world, I have been a little crazy the past few weeks. But I am back, and better than ever! Yay!

I mentioned in my last post that I often claim that I am really good at stuff that in reality, I am not very good at. For example, I do recall saying on more than one occasion that I was “really good at dating.”

News Flash: I am not. And looking back at every time I made that claim, I don’t think I was ever actually dating anyone, so clearly...not that good at it.  

Now, I am not at all embarrassed to say that I joined eHarmony in the Spring in hopes of finding a +1 that wasn’t Carreen (sorry, Rooms) and to meet that someone special. Plus, it actually sounded like fun: Meet all these great people! Try new things! Make new friends! Learn about yourself and others at the same time! The people in the commercials seemed so happy, plus that Natalie Cole song just really makes you want to get out there and find that Everlasting Love.

In filling out my eHarms survey, I thought about what was important to me. Someone who was sociable, funny, had good hygiene, not a racist, not a drug addict, and not rude. So pretty much I ruled out the bums in my alley, and some of the questionable people I have met at Tais ‘til 4.

I spent a few weeks filtering through my matches, perfecting my profile, and reading some of their super helpful and encouraging articles, like this gem. Eventually, I had my first date, and I was pumped to show off my stellar dating skills.

To start off the night, the guy was 15 minutes late. Now that might throw some people off, but since I was a self-proclaimed pro, I didn’t let that ruin my game….until about 3 minutes in when it became very evident that I had nothing to talk to this guy about. He was obsessed with his iPhone, liked R Kelley, and thought Costa Rica was “practically Mexico.” That’s when I realized it…I hate dating.

My eHarms dating experience continues to go downhill from there. A few tips for any single guys reading this blog (which I trust there are not any):

• Plan the date. No girl wants to ask herself on a date.
• Show up on time. Seriously, why must I even say this?
• Don’t act like you’re better than her.
• Put up pictures on your profile that look like you so that she knows who you are when you meet.
• Don’t have a unibrow.

I wish I was still tan. 

After a few months of terrible dates, I realized that I hated dating, and I hated dating terrible people. And so I was ready to give up on dating – it was the worst, and apparently I was really bad at it. *SHOCK – I am admitting I am bad at something*

Now most of you know where this story takes us…right when I was ready to give up, I got a call from what seemed like a decent guy and thought, “Ok, fine…one last date. But I am not giving up a weekend night for this dude.” We went out on a Monday and it all kind of came together. THIS is what dating is supposed to be like. He was smart, a planner, clean, witty, polite, respectful, funny, cute, drug-free…ok, I’ll stop.

But the thing is…he made me feel like suddenly I was good at dating. And I realized that dating is really easy when you are on a date with the right guy. Plus he ordered bacon-wrapped dates. Automatic second-date material.