Nothing in Moderation: I've seen it all in a small town...Had myself a ball in a small town

You have read in my last few posts how much I love the summers in Chicago. The funny thing is that my favorite thing about summer actually has nothing to do with this great city. My favorite city during the summer is actually Rome: A well-known, historic and beautiful city in ~~Italy~~ Wisconsin.

Doesn't that look relaxing?

Yes – Rome, Wisconsin is truly one of my favorite cities in the world. Wait, who am I kidding – Rome isn’t a city at all! It is a small unincorporated town in Central Wisconsin (about 40 miles north of the Dells) where I have had more experiences and stories than I can even remember. The town doesn’t have a post-office or a zip code, but it is home to 3 man-made lakes (Sherwood, Camelot and Arrowhead), one corner store (Pritzel’s) and 4 bars. My family bought a house on Lake Sherwood in 1983, and this summer marked the 30^th anniversary of “The Lake.”

Being about 3 ½ hours from where I grew up, we spent all of our summers up at the lake. We would pack up “The Beast” (our blue conversion van – complete with velvet curtains) and leave a few days after school ended, returning with only enough time to hit up Woodfield before the first day of school. We would spend all day out on the boat swimming, skiing and tubing, and nights would consist of ski practice, ski shows, bonfires and pontoon rides.

Ski Practice and Ski Shows? You probably all know this, but my sisters and I were on a waterski team growing up called Shermalot. People always think this is really strange (especially people from the South) but show-skiing is actually huge in the Midwest, and Wisconsin is the Show-Ski Capital of the World! Yes, Wisconsin, where you can only ski from Memorial Day to Labor Day is actually home to some of the best show-skiers on this great planet. Being on the ski team gave us life-long friendships and teenage romances, taught us that life is not always fair, and mostly gave us an outlet to be ourselves.

An old Shermalot Video - Look for Pam and Kim!

A list of things I love about the lake house/interesting facts – in no particular order.

I met my best friend in the whole world, Carreen, at the lake 21 years ago. Though we were very different in size, we were both on the ski team and both wanting desperately to be cool (let’s be honest, Carreen). When we found out that we lived within 20 minutes of each other back in Illinois, we knew that our friendship was meant to be! Another fun fact – Carreen was the top of the 4-high pyramid growing up. Isn’t awesome?!?!
I was at the lake house for Princess Diana and Michael Jackson’s funerals and watched both on TV.
The Schmelters would spend every summer with us at the lake, and fell so in love that they had a house of their own across the lake for a few years.
In the winters, we (Kellers and Schmelters) would often go to the lake the week between Christmas and New Years and walk across the frozen lake when our parents were too busy snowmobiling to drive us to friends’ houses. “Busy snowmobiling” in that sentence could also be replaced with “way too sauced.”
We were at the lake when the Bulls 3-Peated and painted “Go Bulls” on our butts and tee-peed our Wisconsin friends’ houses. Because the lake is classy like that.
I had my first beer, my first cigarette and my first kiss at the lake.
I broke my nose at the lake after Kim ran over me with a wave-runner. Those things are dangerous.
Drunk tubing with Carreen is one of my favorite past-times.
The stars at the lake are IN-SANE. Literally, there are thousands of stars and almost every night you can see constellations, the Milky Way, and often catch a shooting star (although I have never been able to put it in my pocket).
For years, our hot water heater would only produce 5-10 minutes worth of hot water each day. In efforts to give everyone at least 1-2 minutes of a hot shower, we would often shave our legs in the lake, shower in two’s, and always try to get in the shower before Kim (water-hog).
Patriotism is not optional at the lake. The 4th of July is a 3-4 day celebration complete with hot dogs, fireworks, a ski show, and lots of flair. Exactly how the 4th of July should be.
Bunk Beds are only comfortable until the age of 16…unless you’re Christy Kremer.
Boozing at the lake is pretty much not optional. Even when you say you are going to have a relaxing weekend with no partying, somehow you always have at least a few glasses of wine.
Pizza Fries are ah-maze, and you can only get them at the lake. You’re just going to have to trust me on this.
At the lake, Bob Keller turns into a musical genius, singing the words to every song and playing his guitar like a boss. Ok, so he THINKS he turns into a musical genius – Bud Light and red wine will do it to ya. But he always keeps the party going, especially when he sings our favorite song from when we were little. This gem brings back memories of dancing to my dad’s guitar at the age of 3. “Please don’t burn the shithouse down, we worked so goddamn hard. Please don’t burn the shithouse down, we’ll have to use the yard.” It’s practically a classic.
You can go anywhere in town in a bathing suit or pajamas. It’s amazing.
One thing about the lake house is that it puts a curse on Keller girl relationships. Every time that we have brought a boyfriend or husband to the lake, the relationship has ended within 2 months. No one can really explain why, but my guess is that guys see what the Kellers are really like, and they just can’t hang. Keith and Chad (so far) have been the only exceptions to this rule.
Sleeping on a cot on the porch is a privilege – that’s where all the cool kids hang out.
One of the 4 bars at the lake “Trails End” in the last few years has gone from our least favorite bar on the lake, to our most favorite. They went through a huge renovation about 5 years ago and now is a favorite for a few reasons (yes, this is a list within a list): 1) Huge outside bar with bags tournaments. 2) Live music who always welcomes me up on stage for crowd-hyping. 3) Their Bloody Mary has a SLIDER on top. I mean, come on. 4) The most important thing…they have a bus (“The Drunk Bus”) that will pick you up and take you home from anywhere in town. While the driver is usually about 15 years old and/or a little buzzed himself, it always makes for a good time.
If you need to find Larry, he is always hanging out in the garage…or on the drunk bus.

I am sure many of you have that special place where you know the smells and sounds by heart, and they instantly bring back memories further back than you can imagine. To me, that is “The Lake.”