"Let's Not Get Physical" - A long-lost ONJ Top 40

Note who just ran 26.2 miles,
and who is holding the food. 

You see this guy here? Looks innocent enough, right? 

Wrong. This past weekend, he made me do the unthinkable. Something that makes me so uncomfortable that I am literally getting queasy just thinking about it now. Ok, I will just say it.

He made me go running with him.

If you know me, you know that I hate working out. I get red-faced and sweaty, and it brings on a not-so-attractive personality that no one needs to experience. Yes, I try to exercise every now again so that I can indulge in Sully Sticks, nachos and obscene amounts of booze. But enjoy it? Never. 

Actually….I take that back. Here is a list of exercises I enjoy:

• Walking up 2 flights of stairs to my rooftop, where there is a keg of beer and a great city view waiting for me.
• Jumping in a bounce house…until I get too winded and take on a fear of the house collapsing in on me…at which point I exit rapidly and ungracefully.  
• Dance parties at 2am in my living room to the Backstreet Boys.
• Holding Autumn. She’s a chunker.
• Waist bends to put on a new pair of shoes.
• Briskly walking from my office when I sneak out of work a few minutes before 5pm.
• Waterskiing to the lodge and back.
• Walking to a nearby brunch spot for bottomless mimosas and bloodys.
• Surfing in Australia or Costa Rica.
• Carrying a box of online purchases from my office, down to my car, and up to my apartment. 
• Yoga. This is a real workout I enjoy about 75% of the time.

…But somehow that guy got me to go running with him. He certainly is a charmer. Plus, he promised me pizza rolls at the end.