Totally Awesome RBVs and going Balls Deep

Since I am being supes honest with you readers, I am going to admit to something else I am not good at. And this one may come as a surprise to some of you…well, probably none of you.

When I say, “I am so good at playing kickball,” I am lying. If I claim to ever be good at any sports that involve a ball, I am lying.

“My Plastic Surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activities where balls fly at my nose.” 

“Well there goes your social life.”

Just like most kiddos, my kickball experience started young. We played in gym class and at recess (between friendship bracelet sales and sticker trading) and I often took my usual spot in the outfield. FYI, that is where you go when you don’t really want to play, but have major FOMO if you don’t participate.  If you know what I looked like between the ages of 8-12, you will understand why I was never that into the game. Let’s just say, I wasn’t athletic.

Anyways, in the spring of 2007, my 3 friends and I were looking to branch out and meet new people. Obviously we were looking for something that involved booze and boys, and joining a kickball league seemed to fit both requirements quite nicely. We joined a team called “Totally Awesome” and played OTP after work on Thursdays, followed by boozing at American Pie, a bar with Christmas lights, Palm Trees and Karaoke. My type of establishment. Needless to say, we made friends and the playoffs. Success.

By the 2009/2010 we had all moved ITP and had enough friends for our own kickball team….barely. Being that we had some boys on our team, we thought we were due for a good season. We realized quickly that their athletic ability was highly questionable…that is if they even showed up for the games. Regardless, we formed a team called Red Balls and Vodka (RBV) and started boozing before/during the game, rather than after. This made for some great laughs, some not-so-great plays, and some not so happy refs. I believe we won 5 games between the 2 seasons.

Red Balls and Vodka Costume Contest

I think I joined another kickball league with the Jens somewhere in there – maybe in 2008? I attended 2 games and got some cool knee-socks. That’s about all I remember about that.

Back on track…When I moved to Chicago, I thought my kickball days were over. But sadly luckily, my friends here wanted to play on a league, and due to the FOMO, I accepted. And so began the team “Balls Deep.” One thing to note here: Balls Deep is serious. Sure, we would have some drinks during the games, but there are guys on our team who are actually athletic. There were girls on our team who were actually athletic. And more than that, everyone was actually competitive. Needless to say, no one seemed to complain when I would sit an inning out because I didn’t necessarily add much to the team.

Proof at my stellar athletic skills. See the ball? See my lack of forward motion? 

Although I never was very instrumental to the games, there were the few times I made some game-changing catches (no one was more surprised than me), but most of the time, I was making memories. If I were creating a highlight reel, here are some scenes that would make the cut:

• Kate missing the game-winning catch during the “Totally Awesome” playoffs due to excessive margarita intake, and seeing the disappointment in our new friends’ faces while we laughed hysterically.
• Drinking gross bloodys and Jell-O shots to give you some liquid athleticism.
• Hoger falling down the hill on the way to pee, breaking her tailbone, and letting it all go.
• Drawing the design for the Balls Deep t-shirts and the big debate – hair or no hair?  
• At-bat songs and team warm ups.
• Having crushes on “the blue team” and playing them in Flip Cup until we blacked out.
• Dressing up as Hot Dogs, only to come in second in the costume contest to the Prom Team.
• Mike’s wicked curve ball and 3^rd base coaching….and of course his frustration if he couldn’t strike out the other team.
• Watching the “Save a Horse” guys doing their choreographed karaoke at American Pie.   
• Threatening Kate, Maggie and Josh that the game is starting without them….all while sitting at the bar with Jen Zei 20 minutes late for the game myself.
• Waking up on Sunday mornings and playing a game still drunk.

You can tell from the above descriptions that there is a lot of alcohol intake during these games, so those are all the memories I can think of for now. But if you have any other gems that I am forgetting, leave a comment below! 

I'm So Much Cooler Online

Hi Friends! I have been a very bad blogger lately, which I am sure has resulted in some serious NotInMod withdrawals. I am sorry, and will contribute to all necessary therapy sessions.  But between Christmas shopping, Strep Throat, celebrating with the fam, a very contagious stomach flu, and a potential end of the world, I have been a little crazy the past few weeks. But I am back, and better than ever! Yay!

I mentioned in my last post that I often claim that I am really good at stuff that in reality, I am not very good at. For example, I do recall saying on more than one occasion that I was “really good at dating.”

News Flash: I am not. And looking back at every time I made that claim, I don’t think I was ever actually dating anyone, so clearly...not that good at it.  

Now, I am not at all embarrassed to say that I joined eHarmony in the Spring in hopes of finding a +1 that wasn’t Carreen (sorry, Rooms) and to meet that someone special. Plus, it actually sounded like fun: Meet all these great people! Try new things! Make new friends! Learn about yourself and others at the same time! The people in the commercials seemed so happy, plus that Natalie Cole song just really makes you want to get out there and find that Everlasting Love.

In filling out my eHarms survey, I thought about what was important to me. Someone who was sociable, funny, had good hygiene, not a racist, not a drug addict, and not rude. So pretty much I ruled out the bums in my alley, and some of the questionable people I have met at Tais ‘til 4.

I spent a few weeks filtering through my matches, perfecting my profile, and reading some of their super helpful and encouraging articles, like this gem. Eventually, I had my first date, and I was pumped to show off my stellar dating skills.

To start off the night, the guy was 15 minutes late. Now that might throw some people off, but since I was a self-proclaimed pro, I didn’t let that ruin my game….until about 3 minutes in when it became very evident that I had nothing to talk to this guy about. He was obsessed with his iPhone, liked R Kelley, and thought Costa Rica was “practically Mexico.” That’s when I realized it…I hate dating.

My eHarms dating experience continues to go downhill from there. A few tips for any single guys reading this blog (which I trust there are not any):

• Plan the date. No girl wants to ask herself on a date.
• Show up on time. Seriously, why must I even say this?
• Don’t act like you’re better than her.
• Put up pictures on your profile that look like you so that she knows who you are when you meet.
• Don’t have a unibrow.

I wish I was still tan. 

After a few months of terrible dates, I realized that I hated dating, and I hated dating terrible people. And so I was ready to give up on dating – it was the worst, and apparently I was really bad at it. *SHOCK – I am admitting I am bad at something*

Now most of you know where this story takes us…right when I was ready to give up, I got a call from what seemed like a decent guy and thought, “Ok, fine…one last date. But I am not giving up a weekend night for this dude.” We went out on a Monday and it all kind of came together. THIS is what dating is supposed to be like. He was smart, a planner, clean, witty, polite, respectful, funny, cute, drug-free…ok, I’ll stop.

But the thing is…he made me feel like suddenly I was good at dating. And I realized that dating is really easy when you are on a date with the right guy. Plus he ordered bacon-wrapped dates. Automatic second-date material. 

I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

There are many different faces to the Carrie you all know and (usually) love.

This is Ahoy Carrie. 

There is Comedian Carrie, who laughs at her own jokes before she gets them out (and repeats them louder if no one laughs the first time).

There is Freakishly Positive Carrie, who believes everything happens for a reason and tries to help you see the silver lining in any situation (admittedly, she can be pretty annoying). 

There is Justify Carrie, who thinks you should do things that make you happy and can justify any bad decision from skipping a work out, drinking on a weekday or buying those new jeans you can’t afford (her law of division is genius).

There is Family Carrie, who is best friends with her sisters no matter how mean they are to her (she has a mental block on the years 1993-1997 and a strange hatred for Michael Bolton).

There is Social ADD Carrie, who typically starts a conversation at a party and leaves before the thought is complete to move onto another party-goer (she is clearly an offspring of Bob Keller).

This is Gator Fan Carrie. 

There is OCD Carrie, who only really comes out if something on her shelves is not in perfect order (Carreen somehow stayed friends with her throughout many redecorating disasters).

There is People Pleasing Carrie, who tries to do little things to help her friends and family just to try and make everyone happy (she likes when people are happy – what is wrong with that?).

There is Party-Hosting Carrie, who is really just Social ADD, OCD and People Pleasing Carrie combined (she often gives up and just turns into Drunk Carrie).

There is Drunk Carrie, who loves Chorizo Nachos and Cheetos, takes too many Red Stagg and Rumpy shots, falls asleep at the bar and begs for more meatball subs (her eyes apparently roll from time to time).

There is Hungry Carrie, who quite frankly is just a bitch.

There is Lazy Carrie, who hates washing her hair on Sundays, loves napping, and is really good at ordering in food (see her prior nap post).

Which leads us to I am really good at *fill in the blank* Carrie. This has ranged from kickball, interviewing, funneling beer, doing the Cupid Shuffle, and dating.  If you know her, you know she is actually not good at any of these things (Stay tuned for future posts for proof on some of these claims).  

Who is your favorite "Carrie?" Which ones have I missed? 

Wait...obviously I have missed Narcissistic Carrie, who writes an entire blog about herself and asks people to post. But seriously, please post. 

Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth?

I feel like now might be a good time to let you readers in on a little secret:

I like to use abbreviations when I talk. That’s right, I am a huge fan of the abbrevs. In efforts to not lose any of my followers to the fact that you literally can’t follow my posts, I decided to do a little 101 to some of my more commonly used abbrevs. 

Now clearly these aren’t all of them (DTR, BTW, IDK) but I will define for you throughout the posts if more come up. 

Jesse Mac poses a good question - "How do you sleep?"

Over the past 28 years, I have been working towards perfecting the art of napping. I practice on Sundays, and most recently during Bears games. The last 2 times the Bears won, I have slept through the game. I am not going to say I am the only one responsible for their wins…certainly Schmelter was in a bathroom somewhere adding luck to the team…but coincidence? Not likely. 

Not that I need the Bears as an excuse to nap – I can get a little shut eye pretty much anywhere and for multiple hours at a time. But when does a nap go from being A Brief Sleep to Damn Girl, Get up?!

Time to phone a friend. If you wished to remain anonymous…whoops.

 “I think that any time one sleeps at all during the day it's a nap. (The exception to this rule is people who work at night.) But I don't think there is a limit of time one sleeps to constitute said sleep as a nap. Fell asleep for 10 seconds at your desk? You just napped, my friend.” 

– Kate Storey, published New York Post author and fellow Crazy Aunt

 “I personally experience two types of naps: 

1) Power Nap - I perfected this in college. After a night of very little sleep, I would take a 15 - 20 minute nap; drink a DDP and be on my way like I had slept all night. This is probably my most regular nap esp post baby. 

2) Drooler - My intentions are normally to just take a power nap, but I end up sleeping for 2-3 hours. Drool is not required, but very likely in my case.” 

– Rachel Hubbard, owner of this amazing bracelet company and one of the coolest moms I know 

“Very easy:

1) Duration: 30 minutes to 2.5 hours.  Anything more is sleeping, anything less is nodding off. 

2) Blanket: Required, unless in a vehicle

3) Pillow: Not necessary

4) Alcohol: No (then it's passing out)

5) Time of day: Before 6:45 AM to 9:30 PM” 

– Mike Gutmacher, Reigning World Champion Napper (and rapper – have you heard this guy??)

 “To me, a nap is anytime you are asleep between the hours of 9 AM and 7 PM, lasting longer than 20 minutes. AKA something I'm never able to do no matter how hard I try! FML! #insomniasucks” 

– Melissa Hoger, Michigan's Favorite Southern Belle

“A nap, to me, is any time you fall to sleep (or intentional go to sleep) outside of the standard night time sleeping hours.  It can be for any amount of time.  Literally 30 seconds of eyes closed sleeping constitutes a nap to me.”

– Jordan Miklos, Facebook's newest face...with an even newer wardrobe I assure

“Well my naps have changed over the years. When I first started law school, a nap generally meant I was hungover, which meant I had a half eaten bacon, egg and cheese biscuit on my night stand and Twlight on repeat in my DVD player. Now my naps generally last approximately 1-2 hours. There is no TV on, I don't wear clothes, and one or two cats is sleeping on my face...I do not nap on my couch. Only yours.” 

– Melissa Cohen, author of Queen of Cohabitation

"A nap is between 10 and 20 minutes.  0 - 10 minutes is resting your eyes.  Over 20 minutes is sleeping." 

– Chad Lovegren, World's Shortest Napper 

I napped on Sunday for only 20 minutes and the Bears lost. Time to get back to my multi-hour nappy roots. 

"Let's Not Get Physical" - A long-lost ONJ Top 40

Note who just ran 26.2 miles,
and who is holding the food. 

You see this guy here? Looks innocent enough, right? 

Wrong. This past weekend, he made me do the unthinkable. Something that makes me so uncomfortable that I am literally getting queasy just thinking about it now. Ok, I will just say it.

He made me go running with him.

If you know me, you know that I hate working out. I get red-faced and sweaty, and it brings on a not-so-attractive personality that no one needs to experience. Yes, I try to exercise every now again so that I can indulge in Sully Sticks, nachos and obscene amounts of booze. But enjoy it? Never. 

Actually….I take that back. Here is a list of exercises I enjoy:

• Walking up 2 flights of stairs to my rooftop, where there is a keg of beer and a great city view waiting for me.
• Jumping in a bounce house…until I get too winded and take on a fear of the house collapsing in on me…at which point I exit rapidly and ungracefully.  
• Dance parties at 2am in my living room to the Backstreet Boys.
• Holding Autumn. She’s a chunker.
• Waist bends to put on a new pair of shoes.
• Briskly walking from my office when I sneak out of work a few minutes before 5pm.
• Waterskiing to the lodge and back.
• Walking to a nearby brunch spot for bottomless mimosas and bloodys.
• Surfing in Australia or Costa Rica.
• Carrying a box of online purchases from my office, down to my car, and up to my apartment. 
• Yoga. This is a real workout I enjoy about 75% of the time.

…But somehow that guy got me to go running with him. He certainly is a charmer. Plus, he promised me pizza rolls at the end.    

You know what makes me stop whining? Wine.

This week there have been a few tough moments: I have been sick, one of my BFs is going through a tough breakup, my power went out this morning while I was getting ready, my friend had her wallet stolen and Super Storm Sandy bitch-slapped the east coast. So today I would like to focus on the top 10 good things happening this week. In no particular order...  

1. I changed my Modern Family calendar from October to November.
2. My friend, Michelle, is scheduled to have her baby ANY DAY NOW.
3. My sister, Kim, opened her first account at work.
4. My friend in NYC, Kate, survived Sandy without losing power, hope, or her mind.
5. I get to spend the weekend in Tinley Park cuddling by a fire with my beau, an Autumn ale, and my new Michael Kors sweater.
6. Halloween is over which means no more pictures of people carving pumpkins on Facebook.
7. I ran 2.5 miles yesterday.
8. I got my keypad to the Rogue fixed so I get to experience the joy of key-less entry again.  
9. Bob Keller is on vacation for the next week, which means I may be able to avoid a phone call on Tuesday asking me if I have voted for Romney yet.
10. I did not do ANY online shopping this week – miracle.

See? What a great week. I already have a good feeling about November! 

PITA spelled backwards is A TIP

Picture this: A bright-eyed 18 year old girl, sitting in a big auditorium in the middle of campus learning the Greek alphabet. This mid-western girl was wearing her cutest Old Navy shorts and tee and looked into a sea of blonde hair and beach tans wondering what sorority she would join and hoping to make at least one friend in the process. As people grouped with their Bright Future friends to discuss their favorite houses, she looked to her only friends (the Pi Chis) for a sense of direction, leaning on them for survival tips in Gainesville.  

• What to wear – Reefs are appropriate for Round 1, but not Rounds 2, 3 or Prefs. Sidebar: Reefs are not the same as Old Navy flip flops.  
• Things to do – If you love Country music then you have to go dancing at :08.  
• Where to eat – Swamp is a great place to go with your family, but for a great sandwich-type spot try Pita Pit.

Ok – you got me. This mid-western girl with no friends was ME! And I listened to anything the ladies in the orange hats told me to do. So that week, I only wore flip flops to Round 1, I went dancing at :08, and I tried Pita Pit.

I had no idea at the time what a difference the week of rush Recruitment would have on my 4 years at UF. I hurried through orientations and chose Advertising as a major, enthusiastically joined Pi Beta Phi and met some nice girls on the bus to the Pink Palace, and had my very first Pita Pit Experience. Since that week, I have considered myself a bit of a Pita Freak Connoisseur. 

A few Pita Pit facts about me:

See? Healthy!

• My freshman year I tried to get a job at Pita Pit as a cashier and made up that I was my class treasurer in efforts to try and impress the potheads that work there.
• I have been to at least 13 different locations (Rankings available upon request). 
• I once asked a friend’s parent to invest in me opening my own franchise location.
• When I studied in Mexico, Pita Pit honey mustard was on my Top 5 list of things I missed.
• I once drove almost 2 hours while hungover to Athens for a pita, only to find they were closed on Sundays.
• I have written a letter of complaint on the Pita Pit website that the Honey Mustard in Chicago is not the “real Pita Pit honey mustard.”
• Despite my feelings on the PPHM in Chicago, I still have drunkenly ordered 2 pitas by myself in order to meet the minimum price for an “out-of-area delivery.”

Ok, this guy is kinda a Baldwin

I know this sounds really sad….wow, this actually sounds REALLY sad, but I think part of the reason I love this place so much is that it takes me back to college. Back to a time where you couldn't afford the Chicken Caesar pita, so you sneakily ordered a Chicken pita and just added Caesar dressing. A time where I can meet my best friends for lunch between classes, or at 3am in the Pi Phi kitchen. It reminds me of sunny days, sleeping in, advertising campaigns and late nights at Gator City. 

But what really changed my life that week was not trying Pita Pit, but actually joining Pi Phi and studying Advertising…they took me from being the girl with no friends in the auditorium, to having some of the best friends in the world. And that trumps a Pita any day.    

You know what goes great with a Pita? BFFs.

...and Go Gators.

The following things have happened since I was last in Gainesville:

• Pam, Chanteal, Mere, Michelle and Prince William have all gotten married.
• Autumn, Baby Thomas and Baby Blue were born, with 2 more IPPL babies on the way.
• I moved to Chicago.
• Bin Laden was found.
• People everywhere were begging to be taught how to "Douggie.”
• There was a remake of the song "We are the World" and the movie "Footloose."
• There has been both a Winter and Summer Olympics.  
• LMFAO party rocked too hard and broke up.
• Crazy Aunts everywhere started drinking Vodka Sodas with a Splash of Cran.
• Urban Meyer resigned...twice.

As you can see, it is clearly time for K Keller to return to the city that gave her that nickname. The trip will be quick, but I plan on fitting as many of the following into my trip, if possible, in no particular order:

Break into the Pi Phi House, Eat Chicken Nachos from Ale House, Dance in a booze puddle until I have Grog Feet, Experience the real Pita Pit honey mustard, Mourn the loss of Cluck-U, Lose my voice from screaming “Orange/Blue” in the stadium, Make immature "Cock" jokes and laugh hysterically, Have a bucket of beer at The Swamp, Cry tears of joy when I see the Murph/DeFranco Tailgate, Visit a library just to use the bathroom, Take an inappropriate photo with the Tim Tebow statue, Laugh with my friends until my face hurts, Get asked on a Grab-A-Date.      

Get ready Gainesville – Here. I. Come. 

Noodles and Sauce

WARNING: If you are my friend and have ever lived in Atlanta, you will either love or hate this post. But after buying my recent flight to the ATL, I started feeling a little nostalgic.

Once upon a time there were 4 girls, living in a big city, working in the real world, and learning how to balance work and play. Their names were Carrie, Charlotte, Samantha and Miranda Carrie, Melissa, Kate and Maggie. These classy ladies filled their days with advertising and their nights with cheap booze, dancing at CJ’s, taking $80 cab rides to the middle of nowhere, and overdrafting their bank accounts. Sunday’s existed for early morning conference calls recalling the night’s events, and eating queso from Taco Mac. They played kickball, went boating, and after too much queso, forced themselves to join bootcamp. The definition of Renaissance Women.

   

Note - we had to take this picture of ourselves because we didn't have any other friends. 

 In 2007 things really started to pick up when we added 2 new faces to the group: Enter Jones and my fave roomie, Carreen. The additions brought a few new things to our routine: Sunday Bloody Sundays in our comfies, late nights at Atkins, beer pong and flip cup at 3am, sticky red counters from kool-aid and schnapps mixtures, and Halloween parties with sparse attendance. They were the best of times, they were the worst of times, and above all, they were the blurriest of times.

 

  

   

Members of IPPL came to Atlanta in waves and with them came the VaHi crew and the infamous John Harrison. Throw in John Coggin, Schmelter, a few part time love affairs, fellow NAM coordinators and other groups of co-workers...you've got yourself a great group ATLiens (yes, I said it). Suddenly we had enough players for our own kickball team, and a garage code known by 10% of the Atlanta population. People actually came to our parties!! Proms, Furthdays, Luaus, Easter Brunches, and cookouts on the back patio. Sometimes we were too busy planning the next party that we could barely remember everything that was going on. But no matter where we were or what we were doing, I always loved the company of my friends in Atlanta.

   

Over the years, many of us have left the great city of Atlanta. Atlanta is known for being a transit city, but mostly it was just a city of change. We grew so much throughout the years, and changed more that just our hair (photographic evidence above). For me, it was the city where I really found myself. I learned how to make it in the real world on my own, how to make meals other than just noodles and sauce, the difference between a cab and a cop car, how to bail your friend out of jail, and found a love of white queso. I learned that the Gator Nation really is everywhere, Publix is better than Kroger, gossiping is best over sushi and Crystal Light powder makes a terrible mixer. And mostly, from my friends, I learned what it means to love, forgive, trust and take risks, and I will always remember the four years I spent there to be four of my favorite :) 

"Do Epic Shit" - my fave sign from the race

This weekend was the Chicago Marathon. A few fun facts about the event:

• 45,000 participants from all 50 states and more than 100 countries participated in the 35th annual Bank of America Chicago Marathon. I am a pretty popular gal, so I knew 6 of them.

• Two Ethiopian runners won the marathon. The men’s winner finished in 2 hrs and 4 minutes, and the women’s winner finished in 2 hrs and 22 minutes. As a comparison, they ran 26.2 miles in the time it takes me to watch an episode of SYTYCD.

I went out to cheer on the runners around Mile 7 of the event, and everyone was extremely energetic and excited at that point. High Fives, Whoop Whoops, funny costumes. I held up my signs that said, “Nip Guards Turn Me On” and “Where’s the Floats?” and they got a few laughs. 

When I saw the runners at the end of the race, everyone seemed overwhelmed by what they had accomplished. There was such pride from their friends and families, but more importantly, happiness and joy from the runners. Seeing the excitement on all the faces was really unbelievable and made me want to go accomplish something huge…

But then I remembered that I did the 3-Day walk in August, so I can cross accomplishing something huge off my list. Phew, because I was pretty tired after all that cheering :) 

Congrats to all of the runners!! I truly am so proud of you guys! 

Marathon Pants

Yesterday I bought 2 pairs of pants, 7 shirts and 5 pairs of socks.

Before you judge, I should tell you that I got all of the above for $280, which means with “Carrie’s Law of Averages” that I basically paid $20 for each item. $20 for a pair of Paige designer jeans? I would say that’s a steal.

I admit that I have been on a little bit of a shopping binge these past few weeks. But with the weather getting colder, it just makes me want a fresh wardrobe to walk into fall and say, “What up falling leaves? Like my new boots?” This happens every season. Foreshadow: similar post to come in the Spring about my new wedges.

But every girl knows from watching too many Lifetime movies that with every binge comes a purge, and this week I decided to purge. I am a little bit of a hoarder when it comes to clothes, so I had to start gradually.

I started the purge first with what I like to call “The Camis and Jammies.” The camis were easy. No real attachment to those little guys. But the jammies were a different story. Can I just say that getting rid of t-shirts is more difficult than you would think…Remember that time I played kickball? Rode the rail? Ran a marathon (ok, a 5K)? There is a t-shirt for that. Taco Mac Passport Club – no way am I parting with that one. So I resulted in purging a few t-shirts I got for free from random events like concerts and Cubs games. Success. Moving to another segment of comfies – jammie pants. This is where I got a little emotional. I have officially purged my all-time favorite pair of jammie pants that I have had for 8 years. 

M-Co, I know these are your favorite. 
NOTE: These pants are not black, as they appear.  

This is the actual color of the pants. 
Annie - I KNOW you remember these.

These pants….sigh…have seen it all. Since Dance Marathon 2005, they have been through my college graduation, Sunday Fundays, vacations, breakups, sleepovers and probably some grocery shopping trips. They have lived in 7 different houses in 4 different cities. They lost their drawstring in year 3 after a dryer mishap, but were quickly brought back to life with a handy black ribbon and a safety pin. I know they look black in the picture, but most of my friends can vouch that they have somewhat of an unknown green color to them now.

After parting with those puppies, the rest was pretty easy. Some work tops, old suits, dresses I never wear, impulse purchases of most anything under $15. My sister, Kim, is moving to Chicago this month and will be starting a new corporate job, so I actually feel really good about being able to pass these things down to her. Everything is still in great condition, but over the years my shoes have gotten higher, which means my pants and skirts have gotten shorter, and so I think my 5’2” sis may have better use for my flood pants.

This 5' x 5' x 2' pile isn't even all of it.

The time has come. The Dance Marathon pants have officially been thrown in the garbage. But I better not hear anybody call them trash. 

Haaaaaave you met Will?

You know those ice breaker games that you pretend to hate, but you secretly stay up at night thinking about what your perfect answers would be? You know – questions like: If you could have any job in the world, what would it be? What are 5 things you can’t live without? If you were stranded on a desert island…you get the point. One question that sometimes comes up is “If you could have one super power, what would it be?” While I have recently decided to broaden my knowledge of super powers, I can say that my answer to this one is always pretty generic. My super power would be Flying, so I could visit my friends in other cities, see the world, blah blah blah. But today, I was thinking about it, and I change my answer.

If I could have one super power, I would like some Will Power. Now, I know that all you physically-fit and budget-conscience readers out there are thinking that this is not an actual “power” and that I didn’t understand the question. Will Power is something you are born with! Not so, or at least not this girl. Let’s look at some recent examples:

• When I woke up this morning, I decided that for breakfast I was going to have egg whites with tomatoes. I actually had a sugary coffee drink and an egg wrap with cheese and some sort of "artichoke spread." For those of you that don't know, "spread" is code for "creamy calories." So my wrap had "artichoke creamy calories" spread all over it. 
• I decided last week I was giving up caffeine. Please see above for recent coffee intake.
• For lunch I scheduled a salad sans dressing – Instead, I just finished a mayo-filled chicken salad sandwich and a delicious oatmeal and chocolate chip cookie.
• I hit snooze on my alarm from 5:20am until 7:20am and missed working out this morning. I also did that yesterday, the day before, last week, last month, and 98% of last year.
• I purchased 2 new pairs of shoes about 10 minutes after posting the facebook status, “Must. Stop. Buying. Shoes.” Those were 2 of 7 pairs of shoes I bought last week.

You get the point. I just was not born with any Will Power. So I guess until someone finds a way to package that up and sell it online with free shipping/free returns, I will just continue on my internal struggle with ol’ WP. And maybe, one day, I will Just. Say. No.   

Pump up the Jam

I know most of you are thinking that this was a long-time-coming, and you are so excited that I have finally taken the plunge into the world of blogging.

Ok, some of you are thinking that.

Someone MUST be thinking that….Melissa? Jamie? Come on, Cohens.  

Either way, here we are. And in efforts to pump you up, I would like to share one of my favorite “Pump-Me-Up” YouTube videos.

Don't you feel pumped up? 

Maybe I should start there. I really like YouTube videos, and if I start watching one, I will watch them ALL DAY.

Babies biting each others’ fingers? Hilar. Unlikely animal best friends? Crying. Stupid cat tricks? Peeing. Past SYTYCD performances? Sign me up. A Joey and Pacey montage set to music? Yes, please (and probably also crying).

I can get lost in that site more than anyone. So much so, that I even started something called “YouTube Friday” where I send potentially inappropriate and offensive videos to my fellow colleagues. And to answer your next question, I do this on Fridays.